![]() For example, I thought the little girl did a good job, but then we had to deal with Katie Holmes. This movie was another one of those cases of having one good thing I liked, and one bad thing I didn’t like. Just look at that old timey digital camera! That’s digital, right? Attached to a mini printer? I’m glad they didn’t take the “Technology will find the answer!” approach in this movie and kept it relatively lo-fi feel to it. ![]() The camera then goes down into the basement to hear the goblins talking to one another, and we then hear a goblin-ized version of Kim’s voice explaining how they have all the time in the world to wait for Alex and Sally to come back to be captured. Some months later, Alex and Sally return to the home and leave a drawing intended for Kim. In a final effort, Kim frees Sally, but instead Kim is the one pulled down to this world, never to be seen again. When it comes time to move out of the house to get away from these creatures, enough little goblins gather up to overtake Alex, Kim, and start trying to drag Sally down to their world. The previous owner was a famous artist whose last drawings were of these creatures that Sally had been describing. With Kim trying to figure out what could be happening, she goes to the library to learn more about the former owner of the house. When Sally tries to confront the creatures, their malicious intentions become obvious and Sally begins to fear for her life. These creatures start destroying Kim’s clothes and stealing small objects, all the while Sally is being blamed with the presumption that she’s “adjusting”. She also finds out that they are afraid of the light, but this doesn’t seem to matter much as they are trying to be friends with Sally. It starts with Sally hearing these creatures in and around her bedroom, which make her a little nervous. Holy shit, remember when Katie Holmes was a “sex symbol”? Then everyone saw her boobs in The Gift? And now she is Tom Cruise‘s zombie? That’s sad. When she unlocks the barrier that has clearly kept these creatures trapped in a hole for 200 years, that’s when shit starts getting serious. As the three adjust to life together, Sally discovers that there are small creatures in the basement that she can talk to, who seem to want to be her friend. Add to that the fact that the daughter, Sally, also has to adjust to her new quasi-stepmom, Kim, played by Katie Holmes. ![]() We learn that the little girl was sent to live with her father in this new house, which isn’t something that the two of them are really all too excited about. They make their way back to the house that he has bought and is remodeling which is, surprise surprise, the mansion from the opening. Cut to present day and we see Guy Pearce’s character, Alex, picking up his daughter, played by Bailee Madison, from the airport. He offers them to unseen creatures who live in a hole in his basement, but he gets sucked in and is never heard from again. The film starts in an old timey mansion where we see the assumed owner of the mansion trip his maid on the stairs and then smash her teeth out of her head with a chisel. Guy Pearce? What are you doing here, you super stud! You are from Australia! Would you believe that Guillermo would be involved in a movie about scary little goblin creatures? He is! And it’s this movie! As a warning, this one might have spoilers, but they shouldn’t be too spoil-y considering this is a remake. ![]() I knew that Guillermo del Toro was behind this remake, at least as a producer and co-writer, and it had to do with little goblin creatures. Why? Because I didn’t really give too much of a shit about it to track it down. Whoops! Before we go any further, I’d like to mention that no, I haven’t seen the original. They made us put them in these high-tech manilla envelopes and I was nervous they’d see all the naked pictures I have of the dog. BUT I FUCKING SAW IT! It was one of those preview screening things and it was bullshit because they stole our phones. 2010? 2011? WHAT THE FUCK?! Oh, this movie was made a year or two ago and was originally going to be released in 2010 but isn’t getting an actual release for a few more days.
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